


Broken Wings *On Hold*

by TheSuperGayPanda



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-03 09:33:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5285690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSuperGayPanda/pseuds/TheSuperGayPanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec Lightwood unexpectedly reenters Magnus Bane's life after their breakup seven months before. Their reunion is full of dangerous situations and awkward moments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Magnus Bane was sitting at his desk in his office, skimming through a spell book for one of his particularly high-class clients when his cell phone rang. He groaned in annoyance and slammed the heavy book closed as he answered his blaring phone.

"Magnus?" A female voice echoed over the other line, one he instantly recognized.

He sighed in exasperation. He hadn't heard from any of the Lightwoods in over five months. Of course after he ended his relationship with Alexander in that tunnel seven months before they harassed him about it but eventually gave up. Alec was the first to stop texting and calling after just a few weeks. He still had his last words to the warlock clear in his mind. Alec was sobbing on the other side of the answering machine, saying that he wouldn't bother him anymore.

Isabelle gave up as well about three days later; probably as a result of Alec begging her to leave him alone. Her last message wasn't sweet. She was shrieking at him on the other end of the line in full blown rage. She said if she ever saw him again she'd use her golden whip to rip off his 800-year old balls.

Jace was the last and most stubborn of them all. He had kept threatening and screaming and spitting vial words towards him on his answering machine. The warlock changed his number when he finally realized Jace wasn't going to leave him alone. Unfortunately it hadn't stopped from there. The blonde nephilim advanced to banging on his door and screeching until he had put up wards around him home. That's where it had stopped.

Of course he wasn't happy about it. He couldn't believe that the Lightwood children actually thought his breakup with Alexander meant nothing to him. The blue-eyed shadowhunter was his greatest love yet. He'd never loved in his many centuries as he did in those scarce few months. Now he was paying the price.

He had only thrown two more of his extravagant parties after the breakup. He soon realized that he couldn't stand them no longer. He only threw those parties to have fun and find new lovers for the night or for a relationship. He had grown into a state of depression and no matter who he layed eyes on there was always something about them that reminded him of his sweet Alexander. Besides, he could no longer imagine a life with anyone else but the dark-haired Nephilim. So the parties were pretty pointless and all that was left at the end of the nights were a trashed apartment and drunken partygoers unconscious on his floor.

It didn't matter how much he missed and dreamt and cried over the young man; he just couldn't find himself to forgive him for what he'd done. Alec had actually talked to Camille, of all people, about shortening his life. He'd die before he did that to Alexander and here the shadowhunter was just conversing with his ex-girlfriend about the subject. It was the ultimate betrayal.

"Isabelle Lightwood," he stated professionally. Maybe he should just hang up on her...

But he began to hear sobbing on the other end of the phone and he began to get a horrible dread build up inside him. She hadn't cried like this since Alec was attacked and injured by Abbadon, a greater demon. Now he knew his innocent Alexander must be terribly hurt. It caused his insides to turn every which way. 

"Magnus, Alec needs you. He's turning into a hollow shell a little more each day!" she choked out breathlessly.

"Isabelle I'm sorry but you know I can't come back. He's better off without me," Magnus sighed, heart full of sadness.

"But you don't understand what's going on! Please just come to dinner with us tonight at Taki's and see what I'm talking about! You can even glamour yourself so he doesn't see you just please!" 

The high warlock frowned. Seeing Alexander broken would just damage him even more than he already was. But on the other hand, if something greater was happening to the nineteen-year old he needed to help. Even if it meant sacrificing his own sanity.

"What time?"

.....

Walking down the streets of Brooklyn, Magnus twirled one of his many rings around in circles nervously. He was about to see his ex-boyfriend after so many months of pain and misery without him. He also felt dread at what he was about to see. What if Alec had an incurable sickness? Or what if he'd lost a limb in a battle with a demon? Possibilities raced through his mind relentlessly. 

When the sign for the popular downworlder restaurant appeared within his vision his breath caught. Alec was standing at the entrance of the building off to the side by a row of thorn bushes. A slightly taller man, even taller than Magnus, was towering over the boy. He had sharp, handsome features with dirty blonde hair surrounding them. His dark brown eyes glowered down in rage.

"I thought I told you to wear your fucking turtleneck bitch?!" The man yelled. 

Alec visibly flinched and shifted against the wall helplessly, staring down at his ichor-covered boots. "I'm so sorry Carson, I forgot," Alec whimpered.

Rage began to boil through Magnus as he clenched and unclenched his fists. Who did this bastard Nephilim think he was to talk to his Alexander this way? Wait...not HIS Alexander; he realized miserably. Not anymore. 

The man named Carson grabbed a fistful of Alec's baggie, ripped sweater and slammed him into the wall. Magnus was frozen in shock, too immobile to be anything of use to Alexander. The young shadowhunter cried out in surprise and pain at the sudden force. "Please Carson, baby, I'm so sorry, I didn't meant to! Please don't beat me again! I love you please!" Alec sobbed out in fright, staring straight into the man's eyes with a pleading expression.

At this the man's stance and expression instantly softened. He smiled apologetically and wrapped his arms around the slightly smaller man, resting his chin on the top of Alec's head. He soothingly rubbed small circles into his trembling back. "I love you too honey," he sighed in contempt. 

"Can we go have dinner with Izzy and Jace now?" Alec asked hesitantly.

Carson pulled away just enough to look into Alec's eyes with a stern look. "No Alexander. Without the turtleneck they'll see and you don't want that do you?" Carson asked threateningly. Almost as if he would beat the hell out of Alec if he didn't agree to his command. The other shook his head quickly, obediently. That's when Magnus noticed a huge, ugly purple bruise on the side of Alec's neck.

Carson ran his slender, beige fingers through his lover's hair affectionately. "That's my good boy. Wait here while I tell the others you're too sick to come," he murmured as he turned away from Alexander and entered the popular restaurant.

Magnus growled low in his throat as he saw Alec sink to the ground helplessly. The bruise on his neck wasn't the only one. There were a bunch littered across his wrists, and probably more under his clothes. He began to mess with a loose string hanging off the hem of his sweater absent-mindedly. 

Magnus finally snapped out of his trance and abruptly removed his glamour, storming towards Alec. Within seconds of the removal, the boy locked eyes with the Lilith child and sprang up to his feet. Just before he could take off down the sidewalk Magnus grabbed his wrist, halting his fleet attempt. 

"Magnus please go away!" he cried.

"Why?" 

"Because I'm not allowed to talk to you! Or any man in general! Leave me alone before you get me in trouble!" Alec begged, attempting to yank away.

"Trouble? Alexander nobody owns you," Magnus murmured soothingly.

Instead of replying, the young shadowhunter yanked free of Magnus's grip on his wrist right when the Nephilim named Carson emerged from the entrance to Taki's. His expression instantly darkened as he walked up and wrapped his arm possessively around Alec. He glared at Magnus with a look of hatred and downright disgust.

"What do you want half-breed?" Carson spat with as much venom as he could muster up.

"I want you to step away from Alec, now," Magnus commanded, turning on his High Warlock Of Brooklyn tone.

The taller man laughed humorously as he pulled Alec even closer. The blue-eyed man was staring at his boots with so much fear in his eyes it broke Magnus's heart. Why was he allowing this bastard to hurt him and control him like this? "You can't tell me what to do with my own fucking boyfriend!" Carson growled.

Magnus rolled his eyes and snapped his finger, blue sparks flying from his fingertips as Carson vanished into thin air. Alec looked alarmed. "Where did you send him?!" he shrieked in horror.

"To a subway station in Queens," Magnus replied as he grabbed Alec's hand in his own, pulling the younger after him.

"You're going to get me killed!" Alec sobbed as he kneed Magnus in his thigh, causing him to release his hand and buckled over as Alec raced down the street.


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec needs a break.

Months before Alec would have thought the idea of wearing makeup laughable. Now he had no choice in the matter. Lying in front of his full length mirror in his bedroom at the New York Institute he glowered at his reflection. When had his self-esteem plundered so low as to allow something like this to continue?

After he found Carson a little ways down from the subway tunnel in Queens, pissed and muddy, things got worse from there. If he had escaped an assault back at Taki's it was pointless. Carson had dragged him back to his apartment in Manhattan and brutally raped and beat him for HOURS.

Not like it mattered anyways; after three months with the older man he was used to the abuse. He'd simply lie there and allow him to use his body as he pleased, because that was the easiest way. He'd mentally slip from the encounter and imagine something entirely different. Something that would help him get through the night.

He'd imagine that it was just a rough, consensual encounter with Magnus. He'd imagine that the nails digging into his hips, teeth grazing his jaw, and cock slamming into him relentlessly were that of the warlocks. It eased the pain a little and only when his eyes flew open in shock at a surprising move of Carson's did he have to face the reality that Magnus wasn't there. He was once again being brutally raped by his boyfriend, Carson Penhallow. 

He had met Carson at an annual Lightwood family dinner. They had invited a few of the Penhallows and Aline's cousin, Carson, had been one of them. He was new to the city after leaving Idris and since he and Alec seemed to converse quite smoothly Aline suggested for Alec to give her cousin a tour of the city.

He was a bit hesitant. He hadn't gone out much since his breakup with Magnus. All he really did was go out on hunts with Izzy and Jace when he had to and go back sulking in his room. But Carson had a strange charm to him. Something similar to that of Jace's. He could convince an entire group of clever Shadowhunters to charge head first into a demon realm. He was amazing with words. So Alec had agreed to the tour.

It had lasted a couple hours and as they were touring Central Park Carson unexpectedly grabbed Alec by the shoulders and kissed him. The kiss was rough and demanding. Not anything like Magnus's kisses which were loving and tender. But his mind and body had soaked up the attention like a sponge rag. After so long of not having it he was so desperate for the feeling.

Alec never wanted to let that attention fade away again. So when Carson asked him out to go bowling he eagerly complied. They dated for two weeks. Going to places like restaurants and seeing movies and relaxing at the local parks. Only when Alec had just started to actually think Carson was a nice, sweet guy that he might fall in love with did things escalate for the worse.

They were hanging out in the library of the Institute with Izzy and Clary when his sister had asked Alec if they wanted to go with her to see Simon's gig at Central Park's Valentine's Day Gathering. Alec didn't put much thought into it when he agreed. Only later did he regret ever complying to his sister's request.

"Alexander. May I ask why you agreed for us to go to Isabelle's boyfriend's performance without my consent?" Carson had asked once they were alone in his bedroom a couple hours later.

Alec was shocked at the remark. Never had he witnessed Carson's eyes darken the way they were. Full of violence and rage and deadly calm. Like a volcano before it's eruption. "I...didn't think you'd care..." Alec had trailed off in downright confusion and fear of this new side of his boyfriend.

Carson grabbed Alec by his neck and slammed his head into the wall, a boom echoing through the room. Alec then noticed the soundless rune that Carson must've drawn on his door. He didn't even want to think about what that could possibly mean. The blonde had dug his nails into his porcelain neck, creating indentions doubtlessly.

"YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D CARE ABOUT YOU BEING AROUND OTHER MEN!" Carson shrieked into his ear as Alec flinched.

"B-but it's only Simon and his friends," Alec had stammered as he trembled in Carson's grasp.

That was the wrong thing to say. Because the rest of the night was filled with screaming and sobbing pleas, the pain excruciating. Carson beat him and fucked him senseless until he was just a mess of sex and shame. That was his first time with Carson. He felt so dirty and used and something like a whore. Like an object instead of a human being only there for other's pleasure. Much like he was feeling now.

He couldn't move. His body was aching and legs were too weak to even consider moving. He just lied on his bed bloody and beaten staring into the mirror. Counting all of the new markings on his body. Twelve bruises and fifteen scars. His hair was a sweaty mess and once beautiful eyes broken.

Only hours later, when the sun begun to rise did he force his body to move and get prepared for the day. Now that he had his Steele back from Jace he could make the markings go away. He hadn't been able to do so because the blonde had borrowed his for the past week. He grabbed the device and drew several Iratze's onto his body, relieved when the purplish-blue skin returned to its normal porcelain coloring. 

As he was changing into his shirt a knock sounded on the other side of the door. A few seconds later Clary, Jace's girlfriend, walked into his room. She was fiddling with a lock of her fiery red hair and staring at Alec cautiously. The older boy raised an eyebrow at her as he slipped the shirt on.

"Um...may I talk to you Alec?" she mumbled.

He frowned but nodded at the request. He and Clary never really spoke much. In the beginning he actually kind if hated her. All of that was out of pity jealousy of the girl for capturing Jace's full attention and his heart. All that changed when he met Magnus. The deeper he fell in love with the warlock, the less he thought about Jace in that sort of way. Until eventually he realized a few months later that he couldn't imagine a life without Magnus and couldn't imagine a life in which he was dating Jace.

Clary slid the door closed and glanced around until her eyes fixated on a chair in a corner a few feet away. She sat down hesitantly and she stared at Alec. The Nephilim stared back at her awkwardly. Why was she even here? They never spoke unless to say something like "There's a demon behind you!".

"May I ask why you're here?" 

"I'm sorry...I know you don't like me that much," Clary sighed.

Alec shook his head defiantly as he walked over and sat in a chair next to where she was seated. He crossed his arms lazily and spread his legs out to get more comfortable. "I don't hate you Clary...at least, not anymore."

This seemed to calm her unsettling nerves a little because she quit messing with her hair. "I need to talk to you. It's about Carson," she replied instantly. Alec visibly scowled at the name. What had the blonde done this time? Wrecked his car and got a DUI? Cheated on him with that mundane named Elliot again? Or was it something worse. Alec almost didn't want to know.

"Why do you stay with him?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Everyone can see what's going on Alec. How much more miserable you seem to be with him. You obviously don't love him. There's not that same sparkle in your eyes when you look at him as there was when you looked at Magnus-"

Alec flinched at the name. Clary immediately frowned, realizing her mistake in mentioning the glittery warlock. Pain shot through his chest as he recalled seeing him again yesterday outside of Taki's. He couldn't believe he actually kicked him, but he just had to get away before Magnus made things worse for him with Carson that they already were.

"Listen," Clary continued on. "I'm the only one who knows what he's doing to you. He beats you Alec and god knows what else!" she exclaims.

Alec stares at her wide-eyed. Nobody was supposed to ever find out. "How do you know?!" he growled, immediately becoming defensive. He couldn't have her telling everyone how weak he was to let that man hit him; and most of all, rape him. He was already looked down upon in the Clave for being gay, this would make matters a whole lot worse for him as a shadowhunter.

"Because you have the same broken look that Simon's mother used to have when she dated a man named Bryan. He abused her for weeks until one day he hit Simon. She dumped him after that," Clary explained.

Alec was about to start screaming foul words at her until she started speaking again, interrupting what he was about to say. "I'm not here to criticize you Alec. I want to help you. After all, Jace cares a great deal for you and any friend of his is a friend of mine," she said.

Wait...why was this happening? And of all people it was happening with Clarissa Fray/Fairchild/Morgenstern and god knows what other fucking names. He didn't hate her but she certainly wasn't his first choice of people to be involved in his love life with an abusive shadowhunter. She was still fairly mundane and he still didn't know her than well.

"I don't need help. I am perfectly fine. I would like for you to leave now. But thank you for the kind gesture Clary."

Before the younger could object he gently ushered her out of his room. Once he locked his door and collapsed on his bed, he let out an exasperated sigh. He just needed to get away from it all. It'd be nice to just go to another country and ignore everyone and everything. Live in his own little universe for a few days. That was when he made a haste decision. 

He jumped up and shoved his phone into a drawer, not wanting anyone to bother him. Before he did so, he sent a quick text to Carson saying that he was needed in Idris immediately and he would be back in a week. That was the one thing he knew would keep Carson from getting angry about his abrupt leave. If there was anything in this world Carson Penhallow gave a damn about it was the Clave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter in a few days. Thanks for the support. Kudos are appreciated and comments motivate me :)


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being in love with your best friend kind of sucks.

Kameron Rikers was making his way through the throng of bodies in the colored strobe lights. It was a Saturday night and he was exausted from a long day of sightseeing. Yet he was here, at a gay club in Paris, searching for someone to take the thoughts of that one irreplaceable boy away for tonight. 

Nobody seemed to interest him. None that were really his type. He preferred red-haired, blue-eyed beauties with an essence of strength and power. He wanted a shorter man than him, slight muscles and a lean body. Kam also liked for someone that could dominate him. He was huge on submission.

None that fit his profile were anywhere in sight and it frustrated him to no end. Where was Marcus when you needed him? Oh right! With his dumb fucking girlfriend back in New York because the guy was too afraid to even take a breath outside of the closet. Kam was in love with his best friend of five years and all Marcus saw in him was a way to satisfy his needs for another male. It was agitating. 

He caught a glimpse of a man with everything he wanted it seemed, a good resemblance to Marcus. All that he needed to see was his eye color. As he tapped the shoulder of the man he turned around with a wicked smile. It was Marcus! His Marcus! HIS Marcus was making sex eyes at him and giving that same seductive smirk that was his signature mark. 

He motioned to him with his finger, sexily beckoning him to follow. Privacy. Kam complied, following Marcus as quick as possible from only a few yards away. Anticipating what was about to happen next. He allowed his eyes to drop down to Marcus's round, sexy ass. His pants suddenly became a little tighter.

The shorter male shoved through the emergency exit, clearly not patient enough to wait for him. Kam made his way to the exit and shoved it open as well, right when he set his foot out into the alleyway, something long and slimy wrapped around his ankle and yanked him out into the street. He screamed but nobody could possibly hear him over the blaring Lil Wayne song on the other side of the door. 

The gorgeous young man was gone. In his place was what could only be described as the ugliest, scariest monster the twenty-two year old had ever seen in his young life. It was holding him up in the air by its tentacle. It was the man but it wasn't at the same time. It's pretty blue orbs were now rolled back into its head and only the whites of its eyes were visible. The boy-cut strawberry blonde hair were now actual flames on top of its head. The skin was a sickly green color and slimy. It had three rows of ragged, blackish teeth. A few were hanging on its lips. What could only be described as a heart was huge and pulsing in it's neck, bluish veins flush against it.

Kam did everything he could to hold back the bile rising in his throat. Instead he couldn't quit screaming, the sheer terror evident on his face. He kicked and writhed in its grasp but it had too firm of a grip on the young man. It was making an awful screeching sound and Kam forced himself to shove aside the fear and do everything he could to survive.

He stretched his fingers to his black, gothic style spiked boots and his fingertips brushed over the hilt of the dagger in there. Someone who falls into strangers beds to get his mind away from the heart break of being in love with your best friend needs some kind of protection ya know. He wrapped his hands around it and jammed it into the tentacle wrapped around his leg.

The monster screeched in pain and released him from its grasp. He fell the ten feet to the ground and twisted as best he could to avoid breaking his neck. He half-crawled, half-dragged himself towards the dumpster a few yards away, hoping to get some cover. The monster wasn't having any of it. Another tentacle burst out of it's torso and Kam rolled to the side as fast he could before the new tentacle could snatch him up.

The monster howled in animalistic rage and rolled it's entire body at him. As the thing was closing in on him it halted to a stop a few feet away. Looking at something apparently behind Kam. He could've sworn he heard the thing hiss out "Nephilim!" before it tried to avoid the arrow slicing through the air that sunk into it's throat. The heart in it's throat burst out and black slime exploded all over the streets. 

The creature was making these awful screeching noises as it seemed to close in on itself. Sort of melting to the ground until the alley was silent once more and the only evidence it was ever there was tons of black slime. There was a huge puddle of it where the monster had been and some more splattered everywhere. On the walls, the dumpster, on Kam, and on a boy that Kam locked eyes with when he turned to look behind him.

The young man was so beautiful that Kam thought he had to be an angel. He was long and lean with slight muscles just like Marcus. The only difference was his hair, eyes, and height. He wasn't shorter than him like Marcus was but he was definitely taller. It was hard to tell how much from where he was seated on the asphalt but he had have at least three inches on him. 

He had dark, messy hair that fell slightly over his eyes. His eyes were incredibly breathtaking. They were blue like Marcus's but a totally different shade. While Marcus's were aqua, this boy's were sapphire. He'd never admit it but these were the most gorgeous pair of eyes he'd ever seen. The dark hair and pretty sapphires contrasted amazingly with his porcelain skin tone. His skin was covered in black lines that swirled into indescribable shapes.

He was wearing all black. Tight leather pants and a leather vest with black combat boots. There was a huge belt wrapped around his sexy hips and it was filled to the brim with weapons. Blades, daggers, some utensils he didn't recognize, and more. There was a quiver of arrows slung across his back and a silver bow was in his grasp.

He looked like something that was even impossible to dream of. A dark angel with clothes covered in black slime. It didn't matter to Kam though. This boy could be beautiful in a pile of mud. When he spoke the voice was deep and sexy and caused his pants to grow tighter once more.

"I've only ever met one mundane as brave as you," he grinned.

**Author's Note:**

> This is chapter by chapter and should be updated sometime within the next week. This is my very first fanfic on this site but I've read many stories on here beforehand.


End file.
